The word attractive will, first of all, depend on how you define things as attractive. If being fit and well- dressed is your example of attractive, then it is probably what it is. Hence, it is relative.
Some
say people who have had experience in past relationships are able to handle
their next relationships better. I may not agree all the time.
Heartbreak Warfare
It’s true that all
people who come and go past our lives leave a significant lesson we can learn
huge from.
Romantically involved relationships in particular give us a portal
to brand new perspectives to which we can build wisdom to and apply in our
future day-to-day relationship encounters.
But
moving on from past relationships does not always mean learning the lessons
we have gotten from the experience. We cannot alone move forward and become the
better person we claim ourselves we are, if we only recognize that we are hurt and still fail to find solutions and make good judgment out of it.
I want to talk to the men this time. When you deal with the woman of your life, how do you make her feel?
When that woman walks up to you and sob without trying to speak a single word, how do you usually respond?
When your relationship has taken you both into years of familiar togetherness, how do you cater to her wants and needs?
When a woman communicates a problem to someone, she is generally looking for empathy. When a man communicates a problem to someone, he is generally looking for an answer, said John Gray in his book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”.
For a relationship to never lose its spice and let the affluence continue, it is said that both the man and woman need to extend an extra effort to do new adventures and new things to look forward to. True! But sometimes, when over familiarity breeds contempt and being together starts to become a bore, either the guy or the girl begins to take things for granted. Sadly, it happens unconsciously most of the time. When it does, and no one in the relationship initiates to come to the rescue, both start to feel unappreciated hence unhappy.
Mr. Right, Ms. Right, searches recurrently made by people woman and man alike. There’s no wonder why people put up with the risk of either luckily finding the right person or unfortunately losing the chance each time. Because one of the most important decisions we will ever make is the decision of who we will spend the rest of our life with.
What makes it significant is that it tells at least for contemplation of how our life will be soon as we reach the age when life starts to get shorter. The direction of our life will be influenced highly by that very choice. Through time couples become similar in many ways as they get to learn and share the same way of thinking and behaving.
But one of the most apparent reasons why we guys fail in the search over and over is because we only take so much a time looking for Mr. Right and Ms. Right instead of becoming Mr. Right or Ms. Right ourselves.
Listen to this audio by Mr. and Mrs. Dennis and Thammie Sy at the Victory Ubelt on their talk about love, and of becoming the right person worth finding at the right time:
Anyone among you guys know Landon Carter? In case you have forgotten, he played-actor of a fictional character springing forth “true love” down the little port town of Beaufort, North Carolina. He is the Landon Carter of Nicholas Spark’s bestselling novel turned top rated movie, A Walk to Remember.
He was someone who would fall unlikely to serious conservative women playing less cool as anyone could get. He had no ambitions and no plans for the future. Who you think would also likely fall for his kind of man? Jamie Sullivan did in a story which anyone would most probably hope for. You might get yourself the book and the movie to find out the reason why.
The rules tell us (true love hopefuls) the stipulations and schemes in finding the right man (or woman), the goal of which is real love. But finding the right person, to be more specific in this post, the right man does not necessarily demand false praises and infatuation-based decisions as type of predation.
Inasmuch as men particularly look for women with balanced character and a considerate amount of mental & physical attractiveness, “wise” women as well strongly ask for a man with certain qualities. And speaking of qualities, we talk of matrimony as a common denominator in every pursuit of a relationship.
In a book compiled by J. Maurus, it said that when you look forward to a bright future in matrimony, model yourself after the pattern of this wise girl and you will be the gainer.
She looks for the man: Who does not become crazy over her at first sight. Becoming crazy at first sight would flag a man’s inability to contain and be responsible for his own emotions and as a resort give in too easily to the emotional traps and impulses of physical attraction. This physical attraction will more likely not be limited to one woman only. Who does not ask her to “go along”. Asking a woman to “go along” with his own standards would mean that he does not give equal importance to what matters to the woman. Who does not agree too easily to all she says. Agreeing isn’t bad. But disagreeing at times and asserting own opinions signify that a man has independent way of thinking and cannot simply be convinced. Thus, capable of leading. Who speaks respectfully about his parents. The way a man deal with his parents would in all likelihood be the way he would treat his partner in the future. Who presents her to his parents and relatives.
Who does not expect payment in return for dates. This and the previous statement are I think understandable. Who does not dream about her too often. Dreaming frequently about a person often idealize than realize. Who would not “die” for her. To “die” means to surrender all of a man’s ability to lead and improve, and instead depend on how he could inflate his needs from the emotional bank of his partner. Who considers religious matters as important as his girl. Putting God before everything would mean that a man’s life is complete without needing for someone to complete it for him, yet he chooses the woman in order to have someone to share his abounding love with. Who respects her religious beliefs and her standards of life. Love is wanting the best for the other person and not basically changing the other person to conform into how he imagined and hoped her to be. Who will make an exemplary father for her children.
Such a young man is very pleasing to a wise woman. A man like that does not fall for a coat of many colors and his courtship is pure and sincere.
Then maybe, I speak for the same opinion. At least for my interpretations that is how I describe my ideal man. And I choose to call him Landon Carter.
There are times when I fond hope of my own wedding ceremony. To for a spell wish for things to turn out right in the future should I decide to settle down is something which I include in my prayers. Yes, definitely!
This post has been greatly inspired by an entry written by Dennis Sy, a blogger and moreover a real man who admirably loves God, his wife and children. I was deeply encouraged to relate to others (Read: you who’s reading this right now) what he thought about relationships and marriage in an unexpectedly modern and fun way. Read full of Dennis Sy's article, Apostle Paul and Beyonce's Theology of Marriage, dennissy.com. Follow Dennis Sy on Twitter.
When I first had my own share of experience being into a relationship with someone, I honestly considered a great challenge to prove to myself, my partner, and God that we would remain pure despite being into a “romantic” relationship. And thankfully with the grace of God, we did. It ended in two years too soon but I am more than grateful up to now for not only meeting people but having to remain pure and dignified even if we did not end up together.
Anyway, the greater risk comes when couples (in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships) get to a point of being tempted to get physical. This as far as I’m concerned is one of the highest scaled issues experienced by anyone in a relationship yet outside of marriage.
The Apostle Paul said:
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.- 1Cor. 7:9
I haven’t come across with this scripture before but now. Thanks to Dennis Sy.
Needless to say that there are scores of virginal pair of legs going bad because of what I call “physical temptation”. Roughly put, there are also relationships going sour and pregnant-singles going deranged because of this. You might say I am playing hypocrite and bluff here, pretty near being too conventional. Of course not. Getting this statistics of “broken purity” and “broken relationships” is something which anyone can hardly be happy about.
This is also not being old-fashioned and highly traditional. Let me (also) introduce you to a song by Sister Beyonce when she sung a beautiful hymn “All the Single Ladies” that according to Dennis Sy, sums up what Apostle Paul was trying to say in the scripture.
Cuz if you liked it then youshould have put a ring on it. If you liked it then you shoulda put aring on it. Don’t be mad once you see that he want it. If you liked it then you shoulda put aring on it.
PUT A RING ON IT!
To all you single men, show some real MAN-- stop the sex. Put some ring on it!
To all you Single Ladies-- sing:
Video added by lotofvids via youtube.com
All the single ladies. Now put your hands up. Woo oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh.
Yeah, let’s talk about it open-mindedly. Do away with your prejudices for a moment. It’s a topic so unusual for me to write about, yet it’s one of the most interesting, right?
Lust. It isn’t just a guy problem. It’s a problem of both the macho and the unmanly-- a human problem.
Most people young and old have issues with this. Those who think they don’t may freely stop reading the next lines and click the “X” button on the upper right. This is for all people single, dating, married, or separated who is most probably facing the same habitual sin.
While writing about it is easier said than done, lust has become a confidential sin that lie in wait of people in distinctive yet common ways. I won’t make up for all the right solutions and judgment on this matter. None of us come to anything with conspicuous analysis. Everyone is but civilly passing on premises and speculations according to the decipherability of an idea and some personal influences.
Thrashing out this topic, though would demand more than a few thoughts and deliberation. But touching a fraction of it would, I think do you more justice than acquainting you with litany of estimations. So I promise to sum this up to a few descriptive.
This post has been inspired by a book that speaks of sexual morality by Joshua Harris, a good Christian Author who “rightly beguiles” you into yielding and seeking for the best author and giver of love, life, and faith. I may not agree in everything that he’s written there but reading his books and understanding his points somehow makes me feel eligible to meditate on moral dedications and be responsible in sharing these ideas without being too anecdotal lest faulty opinions lead me self-righteous.
Here’s a familiar scenario:
A sexy and attractive lass is walking down the hallway in spaghetti straps and miniskirts. There’s nothing wrong with appreciating the attractiveness of this head turner and that staring at her and trying to imagine a little bit more is very minimal in comparison to actually walking up to intentionally harass her. Or, purposely or accidentally clicking on porn tube instead of youtube to watch few videos is not as grave as engaging into fornication with several sexual compulsives. Do you agree?
While some people may not have the same opinion, agreeing to this is like tantamount to saying that not giving up 100 % to lust is still acceptable; that there is a precise limit of percentage of it that won’t make that much of damage for so long as you know how to control yourself.
But how do we know if we’re on the right measure of lust? What are the things that we could consider as justifiable whenever we try to lust? Or if a little amount of it is fair, then why is lust still ever found in the 7 capital sins?
Someone who wears dress, speaks rightly so, and is able to give birth to a child-- a feminine that is. No need to be in tightly-fitted corset as how history describes it to be. What is considered “feminine” however varies from one culture to another (i.e. someone who gets married and submits to her husband is feminine to most Christian cultures while someone who is able to do tough labors is feminine to other tribes).
But beingfemininein general is something that exemplifies someone’s character as a woman.
There are women who capture a lot of people for their charm and personality; others though ensnare people like magnetizing music without even actually trying. They are the beautiful faces that most men find attractive to their almost delusive and futile desires.
While there’s nothing wrong with how women fit themselves to shape good (Read: to be sexy), femininity is an influence that lasts longer and boosts better. And we’re not talking of plain aggrandizement. We’re talking of how femininity works at a higher advantage than simply pleasing.
Perhaps this goes to explaining that as women, we customarily associate ourselves into female preferences like learning how to bake, talking about the melodrama over cars that need tune-ups, and even desiring for a sexy body, sexy make-up, sexy hairstyle, and sexy outfit with gusto. But how will femininity give us pro?
Be aware that to befeminineis largely a matter of havinggood looks and good grooming. I don't mean that you need to look like Angelina Jolie; just start with the “physical level”. Gauge your wardrobe.
You absolutely have been looking for magazines or look books that would tell you precisely how to pull an outfit together-- with all the right accessories, shoes, and color combinations. Some if not all might have probably disappointed you with examples that are only suitable for fashion walk throughs. And I don’t want to put the same things forward. I want to share with you the best ideas. So ready your mind-and-heart-checklist.
Love chase; one to run after the other. Who is really to do it, the man or the woman?
Chase the love you want l Image taken from wehearit.com
I asked different men and women from distinct walks of life-- married, in a relationship, or otherwise. I, at some sort, find most of their answers similar.
While this topic is a bore to many online readers, there is still a large fraction of people out there (net or the real world) who search for concrete opinions on this matter, which means that this topic is still an issue of interest to a whole slew of curious minds (and hearts). That’s why I decided to write this entry.
I opted to solicit others’ standpoint by asking some friends of the same age and older, joining forums on different other websites, and conceded reading some references in the hope of giving this entry a fair concept. I am not posting those people’s answers here for confidential reasons but everything that I will put across in this entry serves as the inference of all the ideas I got from my searching.
Let me get it clearer that by chase I mean the one who should be following, calling the shots in dating, and making the first move. And by first move I mean the very first to come close and “seek the hand of the other”. The issue as to whoever has to say sorry first during misunderstandings or a lovers’ quarrel, or anything within the walls of a relationship is beside to the point. This is more of the issues prior to relationship-- the courting stage.
Let it be theMan…
·What the Bible says
Long ago in genesis time, man was already created to lead, to initiate,"But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ,the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God”,1 Corinthians 11:3. Whoa! Before you fire up and proceed to the “road rage” I would like to emphasize that the verse is not written here to battle with gender equalities. Many scripture passages describe how the Lord authorized the headship of a man over a woman (e.g. Genesis 2:18, Ephesians 5:22-23). Although this doesn’t necessarily mean that women cannot become leaders. Get yourself into the context that even from the Bible, the Lord has ordained men as the ones who start things in their families and communities.
·Let’s talk about his Nature
Let him take charge l Image taken from wehearit.com
Have you noticed all the men around you-- fathers, brothers, uncles, neighbors? Ever wonder why a guy friend of yours instantly grabbed a bottle of coke and opened it knowing that there is only one man (him) in a dine of three girls? Tell him it’s ok to break off at four bottles of beer and he would say he can keep up to six bottles of it. Suggest to your husband to turn left and he would say the right lane is shorter. That’s how a man’s brain operates. Of course these incidents don’t always happen all the same but these are concrete examples of men’s nature to follow their impulse and be the first to set things in motion; besides mentioning how the society requires them to be.
I remember speaking in one of my previous posts that men love the thrill of the chase. And they do. They too love challenges, the reason why they don’t raise the white flag without giving a boxing or a football game a fair try. You’ll find them more excited and satisfied in telling the story of how they were able to catch a fish than have someone else to catch it for them. It starts up their engine when it's taking them a little difficult and long to bait the hook, throw it to the sea, wait for the prey, and pull the rod out the water with an exceptional catch-- greatly fulfilling! So to speak, the harder a woman is to get, the more that a man wants to conquer her.
