30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

English writer Aldous Huxley once said, "There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's yourself". What power does it to develop ourselves and cut whatever negativity that holds us back from realizing it? 

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

It is easier to believe when we are at our best position. But we are all meant to live a happy and successful life, except for the fact that the very things that keep us from experiencing it is neither our lack to start doing the right things nor our failure to stop doing those that are wrong.

Marc and Angel of Marc and Angel Hack Life has a brilliant take on the 30 things we can stop doing to ourselves. They have explained in details the benefits of dismissing all these things that, we might have subconsciously been missing to notice, are ruining the happy and successful life we deserve. They have covered far and wide between facing problems, to making decisions and handling relationships. I suggest you NOT  to skip a single sentence. It will be all worth it.

Here are my favorite tidbits:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they'll make room for you. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner.

The painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5. Stop trying to be someone you're not.

One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that's trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake.

Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failure behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes.

We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, on thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are NOT your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened to your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9. Stop trying to buy happiness.

Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free-- love, laughter, and working on our passions.

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness.

If you'e not happy with who you are on the inside, you won't be happy in a long- term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness. 

11. Stop being idle.

Don't think too much or you'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can't make it to second base with your foot on first.

12. Stop thinking you're not ready.

Nobody ever feels 100 % ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won't feel totally comfortable at first.

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. 

Relationships must be chosen wisely. It's better to be alone than to be in bad company. There's no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen-- in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else.

Don't about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records everyday. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself.

Life's curveballs are thrown for a reason-- to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens to you, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You'll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. 

18. Stop holding grudges.

Don't live your life with hate in your heart. Forgiveness is not saying, "What you did to me is okay." It is saying, "I'm not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever". Forgiveness is the answer...let go, find peace, liberate yourself!

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level.

Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others.

Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. 

Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23. Stop trying to make things perfect.

The real world doesn't reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done. 

24. Stop following the path of least resistance.

Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don't take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles.

The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you're going through, you deny responsibility-- you give others power over that part of your life.

29. Stop focusing on what you don't want to happen.

Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you'll often find that you're right.

30. Stop being ungrateful.

No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

You can also read Marc and Angel's sequence to this post, the 30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself.

I hope it inspired you too. Share it to your friends and loved ones. Doing so might unexpectedly turn a negative situation into something positive. 

God bless you!

Photo Credits:

Rob Brucker

5 Reasons Why Smiling is Not Senseless

I will be publishing my articles from my recent trip to Hong Kong and Macau in the next days, and I'm excited to share them to you.

While everything worked fast and swamped lately, here are five reasons why smiling is not a senseless thing to practice in our everyday life. And why it doesn't make a total baloney for a topic:

It makes you look more attractive and younger

It's contagious, and it relieves stress

It takes less muscle to smile than it does to frown

It boosts your immune system and lowers blood pressure

Forcing yourself to smile can put you in a better mood

I hope this helped start your day right. Have a great week ahead!

Reference:

exhilirating (hyphen) adventures (dot) tumblr (dot) com

Photo Credits:

weheartit (dot) com

pinterest (dot) com

Parenting Stint: 5 Sibling Rivalry Fix

Tots who are supported and praised when starting to learn their early childhood skills grow with autonomy and positive self-esteem. But teaching them a little less of autonomy and confidence, and more of appreciation and coöperation may also be as important.

Living in a house with two little nieces of almost the same age got me into episodes of tiny feuds. The 6-year-old miss would not usually put up with her soon-to-be 4-year-old sister.   The “She started it.” and “Why can’t she just use her own crayons?!” lines sometimes distract me from my reading. My hopeful attempts to make my own short vacations at home mostly end up into a bundle of disaster.

These siblings quibbling are not necessarily trivial since they begin at large in the formative years or the first 7 years of life. How my nieces learn to handle brannigan will influence the way they will handle disagreements when they become adults. The role of parents and guardians goes without saying.

As their tita (Aunt) I feel like having to apply what I learned from college, books, and parenting dialogues with the experts. My degree in Nursing has always been a help to a not-yet-mom like me.

Behavior Variations

Toddler and pre-school are the years when children first learn to have enough vocabularies to express their feelings. It is also the stage when they start to learn how responsibilities are shared in the home.

My 6-year-old niece’s familiar lines however prove that there are emotions and responsibilities she cannot fully understand. She is not absolved by the explanation, “Your sister is just a baby. She doesn’t really know what she’s doing”. She often thinks there are privileges and behaviors allowed to her sister that are not tolerated in her.

It is not at all easy since what you think as temperate solution to perils might result into behavior confusion.

See it in general

Approach both lightly and ask without provoking. Provoking promotes defensive reasons as do my nieces. Detecting what’s really going on might help both children; and help parents or guardians learn just how to deal with the kids individually.

Feelings, Oh, Oh, Oh feelings

Bottom-line is, feelings of jealousy occur in some way when there is more than one kid in the house. The key is to help them recognize their feelings by observing them and encouraging them when they do something favorable “I like the way you let your sister borrow your crayons” or “It’s good that you helped her fix her things”.

It’s always not advisable to use the word “bad” when pointing out that something wrong was done. It rather confuses them what they are actually feeling.

For very young children like my nieces, doing some prompting is a big help, “I can see that you feel sad that your sister doesn’t feel like sharing her toys with you now” or pointing specifically to the act, “I see that you took your sister’s drawing book without her permission” and asking follow-up questions like, “Why did you do it?”. Allowing so helps both parents and the kids see the bigger picture.

It’s true that when kids know their feelings are respected, they become more empathetic to others. The rule of the thumb is-- acknowledgement.

Help them communicate

Allowing the kids to express how they feel gives them the idea that their opinion matters. Using words like “she feels”, “she looks”, “you seem” “I think” and avoiding definitive phrase like “It’s bad” will let them distinguish bad behaviors of the person over the person herself.

Set up rules

Kids understand rules more than you think. Rules also help diminish conflicts and help them follow and stick to their responsibilities.

But one important thing to remember is to always be consistent with your rules. Sticking with TV schedules, taking turns, or providing them space will help instill in them discipline, patience, concern, and respect for privacy.

Play is key

Doing activities that foster coöperation like board games, or for Filipino families, bahay-bahayan will encourage coöperation and family bonding.

For more cooperative children games you may refer to Child Care Lounge and Family Pastimes. 

Unfit situations like sibling rivalry can be used as time to teach kids good lessons. How kids are taught will say a lot about who they will most likely become in the future. You might as well do them a favor. I am beginning to.






Photo Credits:
weheartit (dot) com

3 (Short) Ways to Help Master Your Thoughts

There's one line in the novel turned movie, Eat, Pray, Love that clobbered me when I've heard it speak into my mind, "If you can't master your thoughts you will always be in trouble". It's as if I had no idea that line existed for years in books and in the persuasive mouth of famous speakers and Psychologists.

I believe most if not all of us are radically aware of this principle in life. But by the time we move out of our comfort zone and expand our relationships, stress beleaguers like compulsory.

However, it's not solely material thing or work strain that's responsible for our mental burn out but largely because of people. We relate to others even more than we do over our bed sheets. Thus, there are far more chances that our power over our thoughts gets shaken by the impact of these people in us. 

1. Personal Commercial

Have you ever heard of that before? Listening to motivational speech is by far one of the best ways to build and rebuild our self-assurance. It's seldom however that we get the chance or sometimes even the interest to spare a time for these speeches until we find them badly necessary. 

If the situation really calls for it and you need something to help you rise up from mental and self-esteem troubles, you can listen as fast to such a motivational speech by creating a personal commercial. You may formulate in your mind or write 3-5 lines that tell your strengths and goals. Recite them in front of a mirror or plainly narrate them into your mind like an introvert junior high would Winston Churchill. Or as the monk would Madonna, had it been the way to practice her vocation.

    2.   Your part...

Instead of thinking what the world can do for you, think of what you can do for the world. Taking your part in doing what can benefit the world will add up to your self-belief tank. No matter what you do, no matter where you go, if you won't realize that everything else is merely a response or reflex of what you make your mind believe, everybody you meet will just always become a nightmare. 

    3.  Manual

When a gadget say a tab or a DSLR gets defective, there's no better way or person to approach for some fixing than the one who made it. Or we review the manual. If we get caught up in a bad situation in life and we start to get defective with how we handle it, there's also no better way to approach for some fixing than the one who made us, God. And the bible is our manual. 

Did I sound like a Friday night reveler that dances to almost the same mix of music by saying that line? Maybe. But I am just reminding you that our thoughts can become our worst assassin if we would always think we know better in life than the one who made us. 

If you accept God as your creator and savior then His words will you hit you hard than a knife but will lift you up higher than a crane. 

Don't wait until you hop from one job to another, or move from a place or two. There's no way these external factors can help you. 

Photo Credits:
weheartit (dot) com

Anger Management, NOT the Movie

Do you know that awkward feeling when your anger bursts into tears?

When CAPS LOCK is not enough to express your anger             

29 Ways to Stay Creative...And be Positive

Strong is the new beautiful. And speaking of strong, here's a pet peeve: reading and discovering how to live  a more positive life but not actually knowing how to apply it when it's needed.

Great speakers and writers of creative and positive life share huge amount of tips on how to make just that. However has it that few of the real challenges in learning what they preach doesn't come with learning but in maintaining what was learned.

Most readers have the tendencies to get mastered by their thoughts and not mastering the way they think. Hence, forgetting the motivating lessons on how to live a creative and positive life.

On Losing Hopes and Giving Up

Life is mostly fair, at one point it is great. But that is of course when everything goes well and problems are easily resolved.

Image taken from weheartit.com

It’s hard to warrant life as being good when too much problems hits you in the eye. When you’re laid off at work and your mother gets cancer; or you failed in the board exam five times, and went through a very painful annulment; or when the society attached you stigma simply because you fall short physically for a human eye.

People you know and who knows you in the same way work up to tell you that life can still get better if only you hold on to it. But you know to yourself that no one thing that they said has come up to give you a hasty remedy because the pain is engraved deeply, an unfathomable form of spiritual emptiness and clutter. Nobody in good shape of life can just plainly understand how difficult it is to get imprisoned in that kind emotional whack.

When the only legal thing life’s trials has ever done to you is to make you feel so deserving of misery, don’t you think it’s easier to give up and lose hope?

Idly Busy

Image taken from weheartit.com

“Doing nothing can sometimes be very tiring”. Don’t you think this is one of the most familiar oxymoron you could ever hear?

Oftentimes we grumble about our jobs draining us and errands preoccupying most of our supposedly free time. Sometimes when paper works pile up and our to-do list sit out unaccomplished, we opt to one day finding a time to loosen up and really do nothing to compensate for the “cruel kindness” this busyness has caused us. And when we think we’ve had too much of work we could not do otherwise because it’s what makes our living or else we won’t get our lives moving forward. I’m not so sure if you can relate with me on this.

When our motivation for things go AWOL and our equal right to find some rest gets more bereaved, to for moment be idle becomes a credible way of escape. However, idleness often betrays us more than we think. It makes haste slowly of our longing to get a temporary break and be back right up again. 

“The busy man is troubled with but one devil; the idle man by a thousand”.

Doing nothing instead widely opens the door to the attacks of the tempter. Idleness invites an ample time for us to rather think of many varied things that either dirt our minds or make it become more negative. 

When we become busier being idle, it retards out desire for life and ambition. To physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually be productive is an aim a little impossible; paralyzing our way to success (i.e. to successfully attain what we’re supposed to achieve and make good at it).

        “The way to be nothing is to do nothing”. 

It said, let the devil always find you doing something and he’ll soon be convinced that it is of no use. But don’t let him find you idly busy, as what Socrates said, “Not only is he idle who is doing nothing, but he that might be better employed”.

The disadvantages of idleness affect no one in exemption. That’s why you have to give yourself the right cure once you reach a point of exhaustion and the lack of motivation.

Image taken from weheartit.com

Here’s a weird bit but sensible advice from Elizabeth Gilbert in one of her articles: 

If you've lost your life's true passion (or if you're struggling desperately to find passion in the first place), don't sweat it. Back off for a while. But don't go idle, either. Just try something different, something you don't care about so much. Why not try following mere curiosity, with its humble, roundabout magic? At the very least, it will keep you pleasantly distracted while life sorts itself out. At the very most, your curiosity may surprise you. Before you even realize what's happening, it may have led you safely all the way home.  

Image Credits:

weheartit.com

Why is Being Feminine Better than Being Sexy

                

Image taken from weheartit.com

Someone who wears dress, speaks rightly so, and is able to give birth to a child-- a feminine that is. No need to be in tightly-fitted corset as how history describes it to be. What is considered “feminine” however varies from one culture to another (i.e. someone who gets married and submits to her husband is feminine to most Christian cultures while someone who is able to do tough labors is feminine to other tribes). 

But being feminine in general is something that exemplifies someone’s character as a woman.

There are women who capture a lot of people for their charm and personality; others though ensnare people like magnetizing music without even actually trying. They are the beautiful faces that most men find attractive to their almost delusive and futile desires. 

While there’s nothing wrong with how women fit themselves to shape good (Read: to be sexy), femininity is an influence that lasts longer and boosts better. And we’re not talking of plain aggrandizement. We’re talking of how femininity works at a higher advantage than simply pleasing.

Perhaps this goes to explaining that as women, we customarily associate ourselves into female preferences like learning how to bake, talking about the melodrama over cars that need tune-ups, and even desiring for a sexy body, sexy make-up, sexy hairstyle, and sexy outfit with gusto. But how will femininity give us pro?

Be aware that to be feminine is largely a matter of having good looks and good grooming. I don't mean that you need to look like Angelina Jolie; just start with the “physical level”. Gauge your wardrobe.

You absolutely have been looking for magazines or look books that would tell you precisely how to pull an outfit together-- with all the right accessories, shoes, and color combinations. Some if not all might have probably disappointed you with examples that are only suitable for fashion walk throughs. And I don’t want to put the same things forward. I want to share with you the best ideas. So ready your mind-and-heart-checklist.

Learn to Love Your (Naked) Self

How many times have you thought about being naked? Or so, have you ever thought about your own nakedness-- unclad, bare-skinned, and transparent? And when you have, what did you see and how did you feel about it?

                This entry has been inspired by Amy Bloom in her article from Oprah.com. Glory is to God for his never-ending inspiration through other people’s writings.

Love what you see l Image taken from weheartit.com

It’s not so often that we think of ourselves stripped off from our shoulder straps and our plaid printed pajamas heading to our bathrooms, washing up, and stepping out with our body half-ly covered with towel. People barely talk about nakedness in its literal sense and within the limits of it. Frequently, the scenes that follow in their minds are the ones that become daily challenge to men and women alike.  But that’s a separate point in question.

Amy Bloom said she went from pajamas to underwear to clothes every morning and back the other way every night. And no one had said anything to her about what a good time was to be had between pajamas and underwear. I thought with her experience that many of us, people in our subliminal sense still pass around the pleasant feeling of being at peace with our own brand of nakedness. Most of the time what we see in the mirror turns out to be unfavorable. It’s hardly ever that we come close to the mirror and see ourselves naked and smiling at the same time. Some  of us would only notice the cellulites that crowd in our hind end or the freckles and pimples that lay proudly across our face. 

Fit yourself around the confident few. If you’re not assured with how you look, it will obviously show. God for certain didn’t make a mistake in molding you into how you naturally look today. He’s the best of the best creators more than the famous sculptors and painters. He has the most perfect description of a human body. He made you exactly how you look. But he sure didn’t make you exactly how you feel with how you look. See the difference? And maybe what I’m trying to say is, it can be all about attitude.

Feeling unhappy about the way you look might have started since you were young.

 Image taken from weheartit.com