7 Things to Remember on How to Love a Person of the Opposite Sex

Relationship rules and anything in between have dominated people searching for relevant ways on how  to keep a good relationship going.  But most of the time, these rules have become so trivial that some suffer defeat of what it is really that they should keep in mind the moment they enter into a relationship.

            This entry has been inspired by my again favorite blogger Sean Si. Rewording his beliefs about relationships and giving them additional insights would I hope encourage other readers to keep their eyes open about the gift God gives us humans---love. Read Sean Si at h3sean.com. Also follow him on twitter.

You might have had what most of us call “mutual understanding” with someone, a fair relationship for a year or two, an emotion-full of ups and downs with somebody very special say for 5 years. But after a while, you found yourself asserting the lines, “At least I have the time now to love myself more”.

Image taken from weheartit.com

It is never really bad to love ourselves. But that doesn’t discount the fact that it’s painful when our feelings never work out for someone no matter how serious we are about it. And that it’s frightening when our relationships play Judas and leave us heartbroken in the end.

Why do all these things happen may be too broad an issue to talk about. But here are few things you should know when you are in a relationship or praying to find it one day with the opposite sex:

Know what’s love for you

How do you define love in the first place? That would give you an idea of how much you are going to give and take in a relationship, and how much of it would you try to understand as too less, too much, or merely acceptable. 

Be clear with your interpretations. Think that you might be loving someone for all the wrong reasons. Or at best, discern that love is not an emotion. If it is, then it would just come and go, or be this and that.

Love instead is a choice, a decision to stay and share it with a person right next to God. Which means that love is most importantly God; and other definitions are plainly secondary. 

We have to not only involve Him but make Him the center of the relationship. Your love for each other must be within the walls of God. Any rules that is according to what He wants is already enough to get things at the lighter side.

Don’t love the person too much

Once you get to know a person a little longer, there are times when you get too emotionally invested. Hence you love the person too much that you fail to see what is already best for him/her. Sometimes you hardly recognize that you become so attached and your actions for loving someone depends already on how you see and feel and not on how it really is. 

Eventually, your emotions and decisions will no longer work for you. Because you barely notice that what you think is best for the other person is not actually what’s best for him or her but what is best for you. That’s just one of the disadvantages.

Step back a little and let God in. Never forget that God should come first so that we don’t lose ourselves in the process. That balances everything. 

Another point is that, you have to realize that just because you’re together doesn’t mean the other person has to lose the chance to stand and know what will work better for him/her and should not simply conform into what is “being in a relationship with you” dictates.

Know that emotions serve love not vice versa

Emotion is a part of love but not the whole of it. Most often than not, affections develop or arguments ensue mainly because of what your emotions tell you at that very moment. 

Image taken from weheartit.com

Emotions play part in every relationship. Yet, it should still not control how everything should be. 

Don’t let your emotions dictate how you should love a person, but let your love for a person dictate how your emotions should go.

Always keep it in your mind so that when push comes to shove and your emotions strongly shakes you, you will be firm in your love as a decision and a choice, so says Sean Si.

Have someone that you love more

Have someone that you love more-- someone no other than God himself. When you focus your heart whole fully in God,you will base everything according to His standards and not your own. You cannot fall trap into losing yourself and making your partner (who is a human person) be the center of your life because you know that someone already owns that place. 

The inclination to see the other person as who he truly is more possible than  tending to exaggerate what he does when you have no one as perfect as God to see in the picture.

Never lose your focus

Have a balance of everything, your relationship with your family, friends, your partner, and of course-- yourself. Even if you are in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to revolve your world around him/her alone. Remember that it pushes God away (who supposedly is the center of it) and let alone yourself get lost in it. Later on you'll realize that you already don’t know who you really are. It’s dangerous. 

Also mind that balancing things may not only be favorable for you but for the other person as well; because you’re giving each other a room to breathe and a way to avoid dependence  and unnecessary expectations. One way to do it is stated in number 4, have someone that you love more-- God.

Before I end this post let me just add two more reminders:

Image taken from weheartit.com

Refresh yourself

Remember why you first decided to be in a relationship with that person. Don’t let it die just because the excitement faded. It is not even about the excitement.

Keep in mind that relationships won’t save you

Yes! Relationships won’t save you. Whether it’s a relationship with someone less than what you hoped for or a relationship with someone you ever dreamed of. They cannot help you live a happier life or let you grab your identity out in the open. In fact, you may only end up getting frustrated. The next time you check, you are already hopping from one relationship to another for that reason. Get yourself a fix before entering into it.

There you go! These reminders play significant role especially when your relationship gets shaken or when you’re having second thoughts about the other person. It’s usually not the other person but your focus, said Sean Si.

Image Credits:
weheartit.com

Reference:
h3sean.com